Life Through Writing

Let's talk about self image. Self image obviously means something different to different people, and perhaps that seems a bit silly to point out, but it's true. One of the things that my family consistently brings up is that I should try harder to understand that not everyone views the world like I do. And I do. I really truly do. And I am a deeply empathetic person, to the point where I feel like an emotional sponge. I just soak up the excess of other people's hurt, maybe it's because I want them to know that I'm there for them, or maybe it's because I don't want them to think that I'm being insensitive to what they're going through, or maybe it's just because that's just the way I am. I don't know. I just know that I continually put more on my plate than I can handle. My mum, who is a deeply wonderful person, is also an unapologetic perfectionist. And, growing up with that wasn't always easy. But please don't misunderstand, m...

Here's how I found out about the shooting in El Paso yesterday. My boyfriend texted me, and as I glanced at the message through the lock screen- I couldn't see the full thing. When I pulled the notification down, I saw that the rest of the message said 'back home', and back home meant El Paso. I didn't feel the heartbreak my boyfriend felt upon receiving the news. It was sad and awful, and I felt so bad for him and I wanted to do whatever I could to help, but a terrible, awful part of me was relieved that it wasn't in his city. That he was safe. And here's where the first problems stem. If it's not someone you know or love, then it's someone else's loved one. If someone you love is safe, that means that someone else was condemned to death. And that to me, is awful. Disgusting. Nobody should be dying. Nobody should be dying because they went to go buy their damned groceries. It is senseless, pointless, abhorrent crimes for nothing. It's hatre...

Let's talk about being alone. No, that isn't quite the right place to start. I suppose the place to start would be what kind of person you are. And I know that sounds like an awfully large question. Who are you? This isn't about existentialism, and it isn't about soul searching and looking deep within yourself for answers. This, and what I want to talk about is something much simpler than that. It's about whether you identify as an extrovert or an introvert. There's some people who thrive of off being the centre of attention. You know the ones, the ones who are always the life of the party, always with a joke ready and desperately trying to include you. The ones who, whenever you message them, always seem to have their social calendar booked up several years in advance. The ones who embody the sentiment of ' the more the merrier' . And then you have the introverts, people like me. They're the ones that like being around people, but not too much. T...

What has been on my mind over this last week? All sorts of things, but one of the things that I've always thought about is being selfish. I touched on this a little bit last week, about being selfish but not for the reason of being a bad person. Selfishness and being a person you can't be proud of aren't mutually exclusive. And, I know that narcissism and selfishness aren't the same thing, but on some level, isn't everything connected? I've always loved the Greek myth of Narcissus. I've always loved Greek mythology to begin with, but Narcissus' tale has always had a twinge of humour to it. A sense of karma, if you will. That the man who was so in love with himself eventually got what was coming to him. Tricked by Nemesis (the goddess of revenge) he's lured to a pool of water and falls in love with his own reflection, not realising that it is himself. In an attempt to be one with the reflection, he drowns, when he tries to embrace this figment. Of ...

The realities of emotion (and the healing process) are, generally, worlds different between men and women. Insomnia at 3 AM with somber Jazz flowing through a pair of headphones, staring upward at my ceiling – such is how I spent my first few months’ worth of nights post-relationship. This isn’t the platform for slander (I'd much prefer respect), but even if it were, I’m never into giving the gossip rags much of my time; with that said, the sudden end to a relationship that I’d started with someone I considered my best friend, someone I'd let so close to my heart, felt like a hot-cold amalgam of a fierce, prolonged inner-chest burn and a specialist's bad news after a bone break. It felt like a death. I didn't see it coming. On all fronts, the expectation was that I would  be a man , be understanding, and be over it before long. That’s a hell of a lot to  be , for someone who’s just been hurt in such an unsuspecting manner. It’s akin to being blindsided on the ...

Ever since I decided to start up a new blog, I've been running through ideas in my head--trying to decide what would be the best first post to represent what this blog will be about; but to also represent what's been on my mind, a true reflection, if you will (if such a thing is even possible). I started drafts and only wrote a couple of sentences before abandoning them. I spoke at length to the co-author (Asante) about what would be a good post, and we yo-yo'ed ideas back and forth, different avenues and ideas, but nothing felt right. And, the funny thing is, the idea came to yesterday at work, as I was waiting for the kettle to boil. I wouldn't be able to tell you what my thought process was or how I got to 'growth' as a concept, but here we are. I'm sitting here on a Tuesday morning, listening to Real Friends and having a mug of coffee as I try and tame my thoughts into some modicum of sense. In fact, this is a good starting point; Real Friends. As...