Life Through Writing

I think it can go without saying that most people are perhaps afraid of commitment. And, it can be scary. No matter what it's for, commitment can be something that can feel too big, too ominous. I'm not going to talk about the psychology of commitment issues, because I don't really think that's my place to do so. It's not my place to do so, one because I'm not a trained psychologist, and two because I don't really believe that it all stems from a psychological place. I think there's an inherent human fear of commitment. Because to be committed to something means that you are absolutely 100% certain that whatever it is is something that you want. And when I talk about commitment, it doesn't just cover relationships or friendships, it covers everything that could be covered by the blanket term of commitment. It means even the silly things like committing to a movie, a TV show or even a dinner at a nice restaurant. It's all in different contexts,...

It's human nature to be afraid of change. And I think we become afraid of change because most of us are creatures of habit, and most of us like to stay in a little bubble. In that bubble we have everything that we need, we have our comfort zone, and our comfort zone is where we feel safe. And there's nothing wrong with having a comfort zone, it's natural and healthy. In a sense, our comfort zones keep us safe, they keep us grounded, and they might even help us make choices that are right for us. I say this because at the end of the day, the ones that know us the best are ourselves. People often say that we are the protagonists' of our own lives, and they would be right. I never truly understood what it meant when I was younger, but I think I do now. No matter how often we feel like our lives don't belong to us, that we're incapable of making decisions that we want to make, so long as we take care of ourselves, things will fall into place. The thing is that life...

Mental health is a funny thing. We live in a time when we're more open, more honest, more willing to learn and listen about people's experiences, but it's still not enough. There is still a massive stigma attached to talking about mental health, admitting that you have a problem; or, in my personal experience, disbelief that I could have a problem, because on the surface, I have everything that someone needs to be happy. So, it's easier to not saying about it. It's easier to let people believe and say whatever they want, because they don't want to be educated. They say they do, but as soon as you mention you struggle mentally, suddenly, you're someone they don't know. You're an alien. And, I've been guilty of this too, I have been guilty of treating people differently when I find out that they may be struggling. And that's difficult. It's difficult to know how to treat them, because the dynamic will change, there's no way to get ar...

Let's talk about self image. Self image obviously means something different to different people, and perhaps that seems a bit silly to point out, but it's true. One of the things that my family consistently brings up is that I should try harder to understand that not everyone views the world like I do. And I do. I really truly do. And I am a deeply empathetic person, to the point where I feel like an emotional sponge. I just soak up the excess of other people's hurt, maybe it's because I want them to know that I'm there for them, or maybe it's because I don't want them to think that I'm being insensitive to what they're going through, or maybe it's just because that's just the way I am. I don't know. I just know that I continually put more on my plate than I can handle. My mum, who is a deeply wonderful person, is also an unapologetic perfectionist. And, growing up with that wasn't always easy. But please don't misunderstand, m...

Let's talk about being alone. No, that isn't quite the right place to start. I suppose the place to start would be what kind of person you are. And I know that sounds like an awfully large question. Who are you? This isn't about existentialism, and it isn't about soul searching and looking deep within yourself for answers. This, and what I want to talk about is something much simpler than that. It's about whether you identify as an extrovert or an introvert. There's some people who thrive of off being the centre of attention. You know the ones, the ones who are always the life of the party, always with a joke ready and desperately trying to include you. The ones who, whenever you message them, always seem to have their social calendar booked up several years in advance. The ones who embody the sentiment of ' the more the merrier' . And then you have the introverts, people like me. They're the ones that like being around people, but not too much. T...

What has been on my mind over this last week? All sorts of things, but one of the things that I've always thought about is being selfish. I touched on this a little bit last week, about being selfish but not for the reason of being a bad person. Selfishness and being a person you can't be proud of aren't mutually exclusive. And, I know that narcissism and selfishness aren't the same thing, but on some level, isn't everything connected? I've always loved the Greek myth of Narcissus. I've always loved Greek mythology to begin with, but Narcissus' tale has always had a twinge of humour to it. A sense of karma, if you will. That the man who was so in love with himself eventually got what was coming to him. Tricked by Nemesis (the goddess of revenge) he's lured to a pool of water and falls in love with his own reflection, not realising that it is himself. In an attempt to be one with the reflection, he drowns, when he tries to embrace this figment. Of ...

The realities of emotion (and the healing process) are, generally, worlds different between men and women. Insomnia at 3 AM with somber Jazz flowing through a pair of headphones, staring upward at my ceiling – such is how I spent my first few months’ worth of nights post-relationship. This isn’t the platform for slander (I'd much prefer respect), but even if it were, I’m never into giving the gossip rags much of my time; with that said, the sudden end to a relationship that I’d started with someone I considered my best friend, someone I'd let so close to my heart, felt like a hot-cold amalgam of a fierce, prolonged inner-chest burn and a specialist's bad news after a bone break. It felt like a death. I didn't see it coming. On all fronts, the expectation was that I would  be a man , be understanding, and be over it before long. That’s a hell of a lot to  be , for someone who’s just been hurt in such an unsuspecting manner. It’s akin to being blindsided on the ...